Word Count: 2,248
Summary: Mostly, it looks like an Iron set of lingerie.
Notes: First Avengers fic. I blame everindelible and tumblr and DC Comics being sexist jerks.
Disclaimer: These characters and the franchise they are from? I am simply borrowing them for entertainment purposes.
RampantSteve sits down next to Tony, nodding as Thor says, "Hey, Steve."
"Hi," he says back, pulling his brown sacked lunch open. He has gym right before lunch, so he's sure he smells a bit, but he's also incredibly hungry, so he can't find himself caring too much. Besides, Tony hasn't even looked up from the comic he's reading, his lunch pushed away, barely touched.
"Tony," he says, a minute later, after swallowing a bite of his tuna sandwich (his mother is amazing), "are you actually going to eat or just read all day?"
Not that Steve doesn't love comics. Actually, Tony's kind of the one who got him into them, after he found out Steve's elective for the past three years of high school has been art. Well, art and football. But as soon as Tony found out he could draw, it's been... comics have been everything. They're even drawing their own. Or, well, Steve draws, and Tony comes up with the plot and dialogue. They both help each other out with ideas, of course, but they know who’s better at what.
"Mm," Tony says, and Steve frowns.
"What?" Tony finally says, turning his face up to look at Steve. He blinks. "Oh, hey, Steve. What's up?"
"Eat your lunch!"
Thor and Bruce start laughing at Tony's guilty face, and Steve frowns harder. "What's so distracting that you can't even--" he asks, grabbing at the comic under Tony's hands.
Steve looks at the cover for a long minute, and Tony grabs at his plate, eating his pizza. "It's the DC Reboot," he says, mouth full. "Came out this morning. Cool cover art, right?"
"I guess," Steve says. And the art--it is drawn really well. It's just. He doesn't really want to be seen looking at it. He's pretty sure if a teacher sees it, he'll get put in detention or something. He can feel warmth in his cheeks, when he opens it to the first page--yeah, she's actually half-naked, he's pretty sure they're not allowed to have stuff like this at school.
"I want a girlfriend who looks like that," Tony says, talking more to Thor than Steve, who nods back in agreement. Bruce is tilting his head like he hasn't seen the comic yet, doesn't know what they're talking about.
Steve closes the comic, and shakes his head. "Whatever, Tony. I'll see you after school, alright?"
Tony raises an eyebrow as Steve gets up again, and Steve can hear him asking, "What? What'd I do?" even as he walks out of the cafeteria. He loves Tony, he does. Tony is probably--no, he's definitely Steve's best friend. But the guy can be a bit of an, well, an asshole? sometimes. That's all.
"Steve!" Tony yells, running to catch up with him. "Man, stop walking so fast. Not all of us are super soldiers."
Steve rolls his eyes. "Just because I actually exercise--"
"Yeah, you're healthy, yadda, yadda. So, I was thinking, for the comic, we should introduce a female character. You know, like a superhero?"
"Really?" Steve prompts back, hesitantly. It is a good idea, but.
"I was thinking we could get one of the girls to volunteer for your visual too. I think Pepper would do it. Not if I asked. But if you asked, I could see it happening." He means as a basis for Steve's art, because Steve sometimes needs to actually see something in order to draw it, or it doesn't look natural. Tony is usually up for standing in battle poses, but if they're going to have a female hero, Pepper would make more sense.
Tony is talking rapidly, moving his hands, and Steve is almost, well. He thinks he might be feeling a bit jealous? And isn't that kind of like a kick in the face. "We can name her Rampant, what do you think? I like the red hair visual, personally. We should start designing her costume! If she's going to be like Ironman, she should have a suit, right?"
"A suit?" Steve asks, almost surprised.
"Well, obviously not a whole one," Tony says, rolling his eyes. "She'd look just like Ironman. I was thinking just enough to cover the parts we need to. It's cool, we can explain it off so she's faster or something. Hey, can you draw freckles?"
"Yeah," Steve says, and if Tony notices his lack of enthusiasm, he doesn't comment on it.
Tony drops a piece of torn notebook paper on Steve's desk as he walks through the rows of desks, handing out graded tests. It's English, the only class they're actually in together, because Tony passed Steve's geometry class when he was in the sixth grade. Probably earlier.
Tony just grins, because he knows Steve isn't going to not look at whatever note he just passed him, even with the teacher talking at the front of the class. He looks at the test first though, just to be contrary. He got a B, not that bad, considering Tony hadn't given him any time to study for it. (Just because Tony doesn't need to study doesn't mean other people don't need to. He tries to explain this pretty much every time they have homework.)
Tony gives him a look from across the classroom and he opens the torn piece of notebook paper. He blinks at it, because it's not regular art--it looks like architecture design, or the blueprint of a robot. It's pretty clear what it is though: a rough draft of Rampant's costume.
Mostly, it looks like an Iron set of lingerie, and if he tries drawing Pepper in it, she'll probably find some incredibly creative way of killing him and having absolutely no ties to it. Not that Steve would blame her.
Tony winks at him.
"I came up with some ideas for the Rampant introduction," Tony says seriously, before Steve can approach the idea of, um, your costume for her sucks, Tony. The paper is crumpled and stuffed at the bottom of his backpack, under his history book. He doesn't plan to take it back out until he's alone with his shredder, because if his mother sees it, he's doomed. Or Pepper. Either one, really.
Tony keeps on talking. "So we introduce her as a really hot secretary, right? She can be Ironman's secretary, you know, does whatever he needs."
Steve throws his hands up. "Tony!"
"What?" Tony says back, looking at Steve blankly, like he has no idea what was wrong with what he just said.
"She's a superhero, not your... you know."
Tony snorts, and then laughs out right when Steve just glares at him.
"My you know? My you know?"
"Tony," Steve says again, tired. "Why can't she just be another superhero? Captain America's not your hot secretary."
Tony just snorts louder, and actually almost falls over. Steve's face heats up, and he's sure his ears are turning red. "Besides," Steve says, after a moment, grumbling, "Pepper would never agree to be the basis for a character like that."
"Steve, come on," Tony says, finally, as he breathes hard from all the laughter, "this is just the first prototype." He gestures towards his notebook, and flips it open to a page in the middle, with lots of notes and sketched pictures of his Rampant costume design. "I mean, all girls' in comics look like this."
"Why do they have to?" Steve asks back, serious.
Tony frowns. "They're hot."
Steve makes a face. "How is not wearing clothes during a battle attractive? It's not smart, Tony."
Tony sighs, like he's about to explain something Steve should know, but is ignorant to. "Steve, it's a comic. She's a female superhero: obviously she's going to be hot. Have you ever seen a non-attractive female superhero?"
"I just don't get why she has to be half-naked for you to find her attractive," Steve says, finally. "If we have a female superhero, she should be amazing on her own, not just because she's a girl. I mean, I met you when you jumped into a fight to help Bruce, even though two against seven's not much better than one. That was amazing, Tony, and you didn't have to be half-naked to catch my attention, or help Bruce."
Tony's quiet for a minute, forehead creasing as he thinks. "If I remember correctly, he says, slowly, "Bruce didn't really need my help. That guy is strong when he's pissed."
"Martial arts," Steve says, smiling a little.
"So, uh. I caught your attention?" Tony asks, a moment later, looking right at Steve. "Does that mean you think I'm attractive?"
Just for a second, Steve's heart freezes. Tony is looking at him, and he sounds serious, like he's asking--like he actually--except then Tony loses it and snorts again, laughter bubbling out of his mouth. "Sorry, sorry," he says, "I just got a vision of me in the Iron lingerie. Not a pretty picture."
Steve breathes, and he wants to hit something--maybe Tony. He's so frustrated. "Can we just give Rampant a new costume?"
"Alright, yeah," Tony says. "A full suit, just like mine. Happy?"
"Yeah," Steve nods.
"And this is the costume?" Pepper asks, staring at the drawing Steve's just handed her. He fidgets with his hands. Despite Tony's assurances that he's good, and his art teacher's confidence, he doesn't like to show his art off, not really.
Pepper hums, and then says, "Okay, yeah, I'll do it. What's her name?"
"Rampant," Tony jumps in, "as in rampantly attractive, even in all that metal that barely shows off her figure."
Pepper shakes her head and comes back with, "How about Rampage? As in kicks Ironman's ass."
Tony frowns and Steve laughs.
"I still want the red hair though," Tony says, almost pouting as he watches Steve draw Rampage's opening panels.
"She has a helmet on," Steve says, not really paying attention to Tony as he hovers over Steve. Tony hovers; he got used to it a long time ago.
"Yeah, but when she takes the suit off." Steve's already had the argument about half-naked women, so he's not going to draw her in anything less than a t-shirt and jeans, but he's still kind of annoyed at the implication. Tony adds, a second later, "She can be wearing a hot little red number underneath," before he laughs at Steve's face. "I'm joking!"
Rampage slams into Ironman in the first panel, shocking him underneath the armor. The storyline is that she thinks he stole her father's armor--when it's actually that her father stole Ironman's--and she doesn't pull her punches. Captain America has to jump in and save Ironman when he falls through a glass aquarium, and the metal malfunctions in the water. Of course, they then manage to disarm Rampage by throwing her in the water, and they manage to save all the fish too (because Steve insisted, even though Tony complained that it was unrealistic).
It's almost midnight by the time Steve falls back on his bed, the Green Lantern comforter falling off the side to mix with Tony's Batman body-pillow he insists on bringing over every time they sleep at one another's houses.
"Okay," he says, flexing his wrist, "are we done for the night?"
"Yeah," Tony says, looking through the pages. "I'll scan them tomorrow."
Steve wants to wave at the flip switch for the light and have it turn off magically, rather than get back up. Luckily, Tony gets up to turn it off, muttering something about so much for being a super soldier.
Which, really, Tony's the one who suggested the super soldier plotline in the first place, Steve doesn't see why he constantly gets teased because of it. He frowns in the darkness as Tony settles down on the floor next him. It's almost two in the morning, which is way past Steve's bedtime, but still a bit early for Tony.
"Hey, Steve," Tony says, quietly, a few minutes into their unified attempt at sleep.
"Yeah?" Steve asks back, trying not to yawn.
"I'm sorry about earlier. With the costumes, and the girls--you're right. You're always right. Kind of freakishly perfect, actually." It sounds kind of sarcastic, and that's how Steve knows Tony's been thinking about how to word the apology all day. He's never been very good at admitting he was wrong, let alone apologizing for it. "Captain America! He stands for all! Even young women in desperate need of a good jacket--"
"Be quiet!" Steve laughs, reaching down to try and cover Tony's mouth. His mom is sleeping just down the hall, and while Tony's house is huge and has soundproofed rooms, his is pretty small and he's pretty sure his mom can hear everything they say.
"I was just thinking," Tony says after Steve jerks his hand back, his palm slippery from where Tony just licked him, "we could have a panel where the Captain loses his clothes and has to cover up with an American flag--"
"Oh my God, just shut up, Tony!"
"Equal treatment, you know, since guys' are never really exploited in comics, but the girls are all the time."
"Go to sleep."
"So am I."
He can't help but let the idea run with him in the morning though, and he ends up drawing Ironman in nothing but a red thong. He swears it will never see the light of day. Unfortunately, Tony likes to go through his things.